The Amulet Of Snakermade
by The Queen Of Mischief
Summary: A funny adventure story with will and jack. no slash pairing, mind. I hope you like it. Its a first. Be honest, please.
1. Chapter 1

There was once a very attractive person called Jack Sparrow. He had a very un-attractive friend called William Turner. Jack loved to sail the seas and when he was in a good mood, he let William tag along. So you can see that Jack was attractive, friendly, generous, and basically the best pirate alive.

William, on the other hand, as I mentioned was very ugly, to put it nicely. In reality, he was hideous. A headless, plucked chicken running around in naked circles wearing mascara, Paris Hilton's head and Minerva Paradizo's hair, would be better looking than him. William was also gay, so he was very sensitive about his bad looks. William was ketchup intolerant, but that doesn't matter cuz ketchup was not invented back then. William's ugliness makes him immune to any bodily harm and/or diseases. William had a girlfriend called Elizabeth, but she isn't in this story, so it doesn't matter. William liked tea parties and often invited Jack to them, but Jack didn't come and that made William very sad indeed.

So now you know the amazing Jack Sparrow and the lame William Turner, so I shall proceed to start this story.

Jack was in a very good mood because he had won the lottery with a ticket he had stolen. Jack decided that stealing was now his secret lucky weapon. He decided to go to his favorite pub cum club just after stealing a long chewed piece of strawberry flavored chewing gum.

He decided to steal William too as the bigger the object you steal, the better your luck. It's like some unwritten rule or something.

So he stole Will (I'm getting tired of calling him William, so I shall now proceed to call him Will) and set off to his club which was called the Cheesy Lasagna Pirates Club. The criterion (as Jack put it; he liked fancy words) for choosing members for the CLPC was you have to like lasagna. As Jack was the king of lasagna, it is easy to see how he got the membership card, which was made of Kleenex as the club was very poor.

"Ah, Jack, ye have joined us again. It's been a long time, Jacky ole' chum." Said the leader of the club. He most certainly does not deserve to be leader of the CLPC, thought Jack. He's just an old salt. "Why thank ye Jack, fer being honest with me onesies." Jack asked, "Was that out loud?"

"Yes."

"Well then, it never happened." Jack flashed his most flirty, attractive smile, and made the pirates swoon.

"Well, Jacky boy, me has a task for yes. Find the Amulet of Snakermade and bring it to me. Also bring the treasure trove of nutri bars with it. I love those nutri bars… And be quick with it. I can't withstand my thirst for nutri bars much longer. Bring your gay friend too."

Jack rolled his eyes. You had a _craving_ for nutri bars, not a thirst, but he set off all the same.


	2. This chapter has no title

Jack was on a quest. A quest for the Amulet of Snakermade. William, his partner, was singing "We're on a quest, quest quest quest …Quest quest quest quest. We're on a quest! We're on a quest!" until Jack threw a rock at him. He saved the poor mite 20000000000 miles away cuz Will's voice is horrible, just like the rest of him.

Since Will is immune to bodily harm and/or death, he did not concuss and die. No, he just kept singing.

Jack groaned. "William Turner, you are grounded mister! Go to your room. Will crawled under a boulder and sat there.

Jack stared at him dubiously. Jack was very good at staring at people dubiously. "That's your room? A rock?" Asked a dubious Jack dubiously.

"FYI! It's _so_ not my room. It just _looks_ like my room. And it's _so_ not a rock! It's, like, a _boulder, duh_. Like where do you _live_? It totally describes my…personality! You are _so_ _old school_!" Will was talking like a gay teen junky.

"Ooooooooookay… I hereby release you from your ground" said a very disturbed Jack, in a disturbed voice.

Will crawled out from his _boulder_, and continued singing, as they continued their quest.

A while passed, it was now 8.30pm and Jack was tired. "William, go and find a cave in that mountain which has a sign at its peak saying 'Do not climb or you will most certainly die. Caves are bear infested and there are snakes in there. While I rest on this rock.'

"But Jack, the sign says "Do not climb or you will most certainly die. Caves are bear infested and there are snakes in there". Isn't that a bad thing? Maybe we should turn around and go home. I'll hold a tea party if it makes you feel better." He whined in an annoying nasal voice.

"Are you questioning my authority? Are _you_, questioning _my_ authority?" along with using fancy words, Jack liked to repeat himself. It increased the emphasis in a statement, as he said.

Will was terrified that this conversation might end in him breaking a nail, so he went.

He came back down with scars and bruises all over him. A salami sandwich named Joey had attacked him. "Jack! I found a cave which isn't infested with bears and cannibalistic salami sandwiches.

Jack was sharpening a pencil with a cactus needle that happened to be lying around. He looked and screamed "YOU IDIOT! You were supposed to find a cave which had a salami sandwich tribe in it! What are we going to eat now! I happen to be an ace salami sandwich hunter! Why do you think I'm sharpening this pencil? To hunt with!"

Jack was very annoyed. That Will, couldn't do anything without Jack's help. He went to the cave in an annoyed manner. After sending Will out with his hunting pencil, Jack decided to explore the cave. Little did he know what he would find there…


End file.
